Is He a Good Man?
“E” hadn’t been around the last couple of times we hung out at her bar, so I was glad to see her the other day as we approached Sheba’s in Soi Cowboy. I immediately noticed she was in street clothes, and had no make-up on, making her look even younger and more fragile than usual. She was sitting and eating food with two white guys. She jumped up when she saw us and ran over to give hugs.
“You look different”, I smiled and said to her. “I am not working here tonight”, she replied. “You aren’t supposed to come into work on your day off”, I joked with her. She gestured to the guys still sitting and eating. She said she had been with them for the last 10 days up in Chang Mai. I then realized that it really wasn’t her day off. She had been “working” for the last 10 days. She said she had been having lots of fun traveling around with them, and did not know when she would be coming back to the bar. She kept glancing over her shoulder back to them as she talked to us. One in particular seemed to be her main guy. She referred to him as “my customer”. After a few minutes she had to get back to him, but said she would come back. Nikki and I sat there, quietly discussing the situation. The guys had Australian accents and looked to be around early forties. E kept looking over at us, smiling, looking like she would rather be hanging out with us. After a little while, since the bar was mostly empty except for them, we decided to head to another bar we frequent.
“You look different”, I smiled and said to her. “I am not working here tonight”, she replied. “You aren’t supposed to come into work on your day off”, I joked with her. She gestured to the guys still sitting and eating. She said she had been with them for the last 10 days up in Chang Mai. I then realized that it really wasn’t her day off. She had been “working” for the last 10 days. She said she had been having lots of fun traveling around with them, and did not know when she would be coming back to the bar. She kept glancing over her shoulder back to them as she talked to us. One in particular seemed to be her main guy. She referred to him as “my customer”. After a few minutes she had to get back to him, but said she would come back. Nikki and I sat there, quietly discussing the situation. The guys had Australian accents and looked to be around early forties. E kept looking over at us, smiling, looking like she would rather be hanging out with us. After a little while, since the bar was mostly empty except for them, we decided to head to another bar we frequent. We caught E’s eye and said we were heading out. She came over for more hugs. The man she called her customer approached us smiling, and introduced himself. We ended up talking to him for about 30 minutes. At first he told us he was a doctor, working with orphanages along the Burmese border. Later it was brought up he was in the Australian army. So, and Australian army doctor? Not sure..
He was very interested in the work we were doing with the bar women, and said he was wanting to help women get out of here as well. I kept glancing down at his left hand and the wedding band on his third finger. When I asked him about it, he said he had never been married, just wears it here at the bars. I never quite followed his logic. That was pretty much how the rest of the conversation went: everything he said just didn’t add up. He confessed to us that he had never “had” a Thai girl before, and after spending time with E, he thinks that she is the one. He wants to marry her. We asked him how long he had known E, and he said two weeks. We didn’t quite know how to respond, saying that, yes, E was a wonderful girl. Had he spoken to her about this? I kept thinking of the word she used to refer to him: customer. Not boyfriend, not potential husband, but customer. Money. Maybe a ticket out of the life she is currently in. A warped, twisted version of her knight in shining armor. He looks at her and sees beauty. Submission (the customer is always right, yeah?). And someone to fill that lonely space in his life. Whatever these two might be to one another, I can’t help but think that love has little to do with it.
My roommate here in Bangkok, Nikki, saw E one final time a couple of weeks ago. It was her last day at the bar. She was leaving to be with the aussie doctor. She said he was getting her a job in a hair salon he owns. (So now he is an Australian army doctor who works with orphans AND owns hair salons? hmmm…) Nikki told me that E looked her straight in the eye and asked, “Do you think he is a good man?” Nikki didn’t quite know how to respond. She said she didn’t know him well enough to know that. E was strangely adamant though, saying “Yes, you do know. Is he a good man?” It was like she was almost pleading for permission, blessing, or to be reassured. Nikki said, “I really don’t know. I hope he is.”
I was sad to have missed saying good-bye to E (my wisdom teeth were taken out that day, and I was unable to go out). My prayers echo Nikki’s. I do hope, for both of their sakes, that he is a good man. That God will protect E. She always wore a cross around her neck, one I think an old customer gave her. I asked her one night if she knew what it meant, and ended up sharing the gospel with her. How much of that was lost in broken Thai and English, only God can know-and cultivate as He sees fit. What the enemy intends for evil, God loves turning around to good-so that He is glorified. I can only pray for God’s goodness in the life of my friend and this man.
*pics do not depict any persons mentioned in this blog*
