Well, on a less deep and heart wrenching note than my last couple of posts, I thought I would share a blog site that has had me chuckling and procrastinating the past week or so. The author of Stuff Christians Like does a tongue in cheek critique of the Christian sub culture. Some of it is just for fun, like #233. Reading every single word in the bulletin when bored (come on, you know you have done it), but he does wedge some nuggets of truth in there from time to time that actually make you think and nod your head in agreement like #244. Making God Emo.
I want to post one that made me laugh out loud yesterday. Sure, it’s ridiculous. I need a little more ridiculousness in my life. Plus, he mentioned Bio-Dome’s Stephen Baldwin, which is always a sign of a good time.
Have you ever thought what it would be like if Kirk Cameron and Bono got into a street fight to see who is the best famous Christian? Just a no holds barred, anything goes donnybrook? No? It’s just me then, huh? Well here is what I think it would look like:
Kirk Cameron:
“Look Bono, even before I became really well known for my Christianity I was providing nice, appropriate laughter to millions of people on the hit show, ‘Growing Pains.'”
Bono:
“Was that the one with Tony Danza? I get those all confused. Well, while you were making sitcoms that paved the way for ‘Two and a Half Men,’ I was touring the world singing songs with hidden Christian meaning to millions of people.”
Kirk Cameron:
“Fair enough, but I have a powerful ministry called ‘the way of the master.’ Not only do we have an official crest and a series called “Hell’s best kept secret,” but my partner has a mustache and everyone knows there is something inherently spiritual about mustachioed men.”
Bono:
“Ha, that is hilarious. I touched more hearts than you’ll ever reach with my Super Bowl performance after 9/11 and I’ve allowed Christian musicians to cover my music for years. I didn’t even gripe when my songs were covered and suddenly deemed acceptable for Christian radio just because a Christian band was doing them. And don’t forget my work in Africa.”
Kirk Cameron:
“Oh please, you have a guy named “edge’ in your band. Who changes their name to ‘edge?’ And didn’t you swear at the grammy’s one year?”
Bono:
“Whoa, low blow, Mike Seaver, low blow. Don’t you have a photo shoot you need to be doing with the Jonas Brothers for the magazine Tiger Beat?”
Stephen Baldwin:
“Guys, there’s no need to fight. I’m the best famous Christian.”
Bono:
“Bio-Dome’s Stephen Baldwin, what are you doing here?”
Stephen Baldwin:
“I have a skate ministry and since Stuff Christians Like refuses to give me my own entry I had to crash your entry.”
Kirk Cameron:
“None of this matters. I’ve just been toying with the both of you?”
Stephen Baldwin:
“Why do you say that?”
Kirk Cameron:
“Simple, I was in the movie version of ‘Left Behind.'”
Bono:
“You win.”
Stephen Baldwin:
“Thanks for having me. Good game. Jon give me a call. I’ll give you a free Rob Roskopp old school skateboard.”
You’ve never honestly had that scenario in your head while you’re pumping gas or mowing the lawn? Not even a little bit?
I am weird.
Update: Tomorrow I’m writing a post about Bono’s faith. And yes that is an autographed photo. And no it is not mine. Unfortunately.
