After a great few days in Cairo, I hopped
back in my packed to the gills Honda and made the 9.5 hour trek down to Dallas,
TX. There I visited with my friend Valerie, her husband Jer and their beautiful
new baby, Lily. Val and I lived together in West Virgina , working as interns
for Youthworks. We were apart of the only all girls team, and the four of us
had an ease and love amongst us that was, and still continues to be, a rare and
precious thing. I have not seen Val in over two years, since we were all reunited
again for Emily's, another of our foursome, wedding. Time and busyness and
geography have taken us on different paths, but it is always a blast when we
reunite. And obviously, this one was a whole different kind of fun as I
met her three month old daughter Lily. What a gorgeous little gal!
It was so great to see Val in this new role and her, Jer, and Lily's life
together in Dallas. We cooked dinner, took pics of the babe, watched the
Olympics, and talked about the ridiculous situations we used to find ourselves
in back in the Youthworks days (involving things like a 15 passenger van loaded
down with bad paint tipping over as we drove through the mountains). It
was a joy to see her again and have a glimpse of the new life and role God has
given her.
Thursday
morning (after Val sent me off with a packed lunch-such a mom;) I hopped on I20
heading west to El Paso. What can I say about driving in Texas? flat.
brown. fantastically high speed limits. I learned that tumble weeds are
not just in western cartoons and they do indeed tumble across the dusty plain.
Not a whole ton to occupy your senses, but I found that I do indeed enjoy the
open road-good tunes, lots of time to sit in the Presence. Driving was a
very joyful time for me.
Brittany and
I went to YHC and UGA together. Our freshman year at YHC we were both on
a spring break trip to Juarez , MX with an organization called Casas Por
Cristo. This was my first mission trip ever, and where I was awakened to
my love for missions. Brittany and I both took two more trips during
college. Britt then came on staff with Casas after graduation and has
been with them ever since (going on 7 years). Ironically enough, I passed
through El Paso almost exactly 10 years to the day of our first mission trip down
there as freshman. It was great to reflect with her about those trips and
where life has taken us and many other dear folk from college. Brittany's
relentless pursuit of God's heart is so encouraging to see, and she is an
example of commitment and perserverance in one of the hardest places in North
America to live and minister. I got to sit in on a Casas staff/prayer
meeting and it was awesome to be able to see them in action-an organization
that had such an impact on my early journey. It was an honor to be able
to pray with them and encourage them in the place God has them.
My
cross-country trek began last Friday and my first stop was Cairo, IL-where I
currently still am until Wed. morning. I have written about Cairo on this
blog numerous times. I called this place home for 2.5 years, and I found my covenant
family here as we struggled, contended and grew in a place together that most
of the time felt like it was straight out of Isaiah-barren, desolate, no sign
of livestock,(tangent:I have never seen a single squirrel the entire four years
I have been around this place-weird huh?) the whole bit. A town where
every kid lives below the poverty line, most people don't have jobs, and racial
tension and strife leftover from the civil rights movement exists to this
day. Let's just say, this was great training ground for me to understand
spiritual warfare, standing in the gap, and the power of God's promises-and
declaring them over places, regions, and nations. Coming back is always a
unique feeling-like coming home, but sort of like when your home is war torn
Sudan or Iraq. I forget what reality here can mean sometimes.
Yesterday, I was reminded.
I
joined two of my former staff mates as they did their weekly prayer/ministry
time at the projects. There are two housing projects in Cairo, and they
switch off between the two on Monday afternoons. There is no set plan:
just whatever God wants them to do each time: intercede, talk to people, pray
with people, etc. As we pulled up to the place, one of the girls shared a
story from earlier that day at one of the elementary schools. Without going
into detail, the discovery of inappropriate sexual behavior was found happening
at a school function. This is happening and being dealt with at
ELEMENTARY school age. I probably worked with some of these kids as sweet
2nd graders during my time here. We sat in subdued silence for a long
time in the car, words being few and prayers hard to formulate. I gazed out the window, at the
trash littering the ground, the concrete of the buildings and the screechy bass
of the cars passing by outside blaring music that promotes and glorifies the
exact thing we sat there reeling from. My next thought was: Of course. Where else do these kids have to turn?
Look what surrounds them: Filth-not just in the form of the trash no one cares
enough to pick up, but in words that are said, in actions, in what they watch
on T.V., in how they see their parents (some who are basically teenagers
themselves) interact and respond to those around them. I just sat there looking down
at my bible, asking God for His reality and what He thinks there needs to be a
release of here.
The
words of a Rick Pino song came to my mind: innocence is restored, when I'm with
my daddy. The song goes on to
prophetically declare the restoration of the innocent ones, for confusion to
end, and for fear to cease. I
began to ask for God to release the realization of himself as Daddy over that
housing project. For kids who have
never known the true love of an earthly father to encounter the heart of the
One who weeps over their sin, but waits in eager expectation for their
realization as heirs-sons and daughters of the living God, to be revealed
(Romans 8:15-16). That is it. Not by any human effort, or control,
or behavior modification, but by an encounter with the heart of the
Father. It's a joyful realization,
even as I look at my dear family that is still here in the thick of it: Not by
power or might, but by His Spirit.
What
can I say? Cairo, I love ya. It's always good to be back. :) If this is any indication, the rest of
my across the nation jaunt should be pretty awesome. I'll keep you updated!
to listen to the full track of Zerubbabel (Rick Pino) click here. It's good stuff.
*the pic in the top right corner (of the main drag in Cairo) was photographed by James Drake.-to give credit where it is due. :)
I almost forgot about Lent until my friend mentioned it while we were having lunch yesterday, as she mused out loud about what she was giving up. Oh, crap, I said. Lent. Ash Wednesday. After running in these non traditional circles for so long, the Church calendar gets kind of lost in the shuffle...
This afternoon, I went to visit a friend in the hospital who just had her baby. It was a delight to hold a new life in my arms, all fresh and squirmy and teeming with destiny and possibilities. I had walked with this little one's mom and dad down a sometimes difficult journey that had brought them to this very place. The culmination of many months of tears, joy, decisions, consequences, and celebration lay sleeping in my arms. I felt a weighty joy as grace seemed to rest upon everything and everyone this precious one encountered. I especially saw this on her parents. It's no surprise what they chose for her name: Mikayla (a derivative of Michael-meaning "who is like God?" ) Grace.
As I left them at the hospital, I decided to try and make the Ash Wednesday service at a local Methodist church. I sometimes crave the rhythm and sanctity that traditional services offer and always find myself gravitating towards them during this season. I slid into the pew pretty buoyed and joyful from my time at the hospital and the service began. Now, I am sure most of you know that Ash Wednesday (and Lent as a whole) is all about repentance. Think Old Testament sack cloth and ashes (hence the ash on your forehead). This is why people go crazy over Mardi Gras and Fat Tuesday. 'Cause come Wed morning, it's time to sober up and reflect on our humanity, our frail flesh, and our sin. The visiting pastor mentioned in his meditation of how some churches take the upbeat songs and scriptures out of their services during this season to keep the atmosphere very Joel 2 like-fasting, weeping and mourning. And as I sat there singing, doing the responsive readings, and receiving the ashes on my forehead, I tried my darndest to center myself, to get reflective and, well repent. But you know what the only thing I wanted to do was?
Laugh. And thank God for the good things He has allowed me to see lately. And maybe sing really loudly.
Of course, I didn't. I received my ashes like a good Methodist and got out of there. As I drove away and asked God what the heck was up with all that, this is what I felt like He was saying, "Jess, I am taking you out of Lent and into a new season. You are no stranger to a broken, contrite heart. You have wrestled with me and have not let go until I bless you. So, let go. It's time to be blessed."
Woah. Do I even know what it means to NOT wrestle, contend and lay before Him in a million pieces? Psalm 51 has became a strange comfort zone of sorts. I can humble myself into sober reflectiveness til the cows come home, but can I stand in His JOY and BLESSING? Scripture tells me that this is where I receive my strength, so do I really mean it when I say I want to truly walk in freedom and victory? Because I think those two things are the key.
Well, it seems my Lent is going to look a little different this year. Like my young parent friends, my wilderness journey is culminating into a time of grace. So, I guess I am giving up Lent for Lent? It's not facebook or chocolate, but we shall see how this goes ;).
"Restore to me the JOY of your salvation, and grant me a willing spirit to sustain me" -David (Psalm 51:12)
*disclaimer: this blog is by no means trying to diminish the significance of the Lenten season, our need for repentance or what scripture clearly states as ways of ushering in transformation (i.e. Joel 2, 2 Chronicles 7:14). These revelations have become foundational in my spiritual walk. I am just communicating where God has brought me from and where I think He is bringing me to in this particular season of my life. Thanks for sharing in it with me.
Check out this video. If you feel a pull to go down and serve for a week, a month or a year, this is what it could look like. Please, get in touch with me if God is speaking to you about this-or go here
Also, check out this link to blogs from our media team that just returned. The Spirit is moving in Haiti. Is He moving you??
This is a portion of my latest and final newsletter with AIM. If you are on my blog subscription list, you received it in an email (if you didn't for some reason, and would like to have a copy, give me a holler.)
While still in Thailand, but after I realized it was not in my future to return, I was left feeling a little confused and uncertain of my next steps. Actually, that's an understatement. Let's just say it was a hard time. I had left everything back home and at AIM to pursue this Thailand thing and I was almost shocked at how evident it was that this was not what I was supposed to be doing. I knew I needed some time to rest and regroup upon returning home I found a pretty cheap flight out to the west coast to visit some friends in Redding, CA. My friends living out there are attending a ministry school at Bethel Church. It is a place full of hungry people seeking after the face of God and expecting Him to move in the fullness of everything He is. And some pretty amazing things happen. I couldn't think of a better atmosphere to immerse myself in as I pressed into these questions. So, I went out. I rested. I reflected. I crashed some classes with my friends at ministry school. I hung out with animals on the little farm my friends have created. I gazed upon some beautiful snow capped mountains. I was challenged and had breakthrough in some needed areas of my life. All and all I couldn't have asked for more from my time. And I felt like I was getting direction on what to pursue next...
So, I am moving to California! Crazy, I know, but during my time in Redding, I had many words spoken over me about this next season of life being one of rest, refocus, and identity. I have been in full time ministry for the past 7 years. I have loved it and have grown so much, but feel like a break from it all to focus on some things that the Lord is wanting to do in me is what He is asking of me right now. As I prayed through this in Redding I felt like the Lord was saying "I don't care what you do. Right now, I care more about who you surrounded yourself with. So as I prayed where my community was, Redding, Bethel and my dear friends who are there was what God was highlighted to me. I hope to be settled in and looking for work in Redding by March 1st. Please keep me in your prayers during this time of moving and transition.
Haiti
Unless you have been living under a rock, you know about the earthquake that struck Haiti back in January, devastating the nation and sending the rest of the world into a response. AIM has been on the ground pretty much since the earthquake happened and has formulated a strategic response for the long term. I received a phone call the Friday after the quake, asking me to go to Haiti with an AIM first response team to assess need and minister. My heart immediately jumped at the chance to go, but I felt like the Lord was not asking that of me right now. Right now, and for the next few months, I will be helping AIM recruit part time some people to go down and lead some of our short term projects we have. If you are interested in serving in Haiti over the next few months, please contact me or check out AIM's website for more info.
Support
I so appreciate each of you who have sown into my ministry here at AIM for the last two years. As of right now, I am discontinuing support raising. If you are a monthly supporter, please cease sending support ASAP. Please contact me if you have any questions. Again, thank you for your partnership in the Kingdom!
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I will continue to post on this site, so please feel free to still check back and leave comments :). This season is ending, but I look forward to the next with much joy and anticipation. Thanks for journeying with me!
I received a phone call this past Friday from the AIM office asking if I wanted to go to Haiti this week on a first response team. My heart ached, but circumstances would not allow for me to leave the States right now. When I return from Cali at the end of January, I will be exploring some options of how I can assist with AIM's relief efforts and mobilizing teams. Until then, I will continue to pray and help get the word out about whats happening. Here is the latest update. For real time updates visit AIM's Haiti relief blog.
AIM is sending teams to the border of Haiti
on Wednesday and Thursday. We will be helping out in the hospitals and
camps as thousands of refugees flood the Dominican Republic. Here's
the latest from what we've heard on the ground:
People
are still being rescued - Daniel Woolley, of Compassion International,
is rescued from the Montana Hotel, where he spent 65 hours pinned under
rubble. Touching his face is Mondesir Luckson, a bellboy who was also
trapped in the ruins and with whom he was able to communicate.
Thousands, however, are still trapped and may not survive.
And in the midst of all this, the tenacity of many's faith, is
being shown. While the earthquake demolished their church, these
Haitians simply met in a nearby park. Watch the CNN video for that at
the bottom. "One reporter seemed almost incredulous at the faith he
had encountered. "Everyone we've spoken to - they're not questioning
God; they're thanking God." You can read the full article at Ron Hutchcraft's blog.
As we posted earlier, Miguel encountered a school where a thousand
children died when it collapsed last Thursday. If you haven't gotten a
chance to watch the video, you may do so at the bottom of this blog.
Please pray for Marcia Borg and
her son Sam as they touch down on Wednesday. The World Race Alum group
touches down on Thursday. We will keep you apprised in real time as
information comes through.
Funds are still greatly needed. If you'd like to continue to give, you may do so here.
Below is a blog that was posted on AIM's updates site. I am thankful to be apart of an organization that has responded to this great need so quickly and with such compassion. Please continue to pray for Haiti: the hundreds of thousands who have been affected, and the workers who are already in the thick of the chaos responding. Jesus, we need you to come.
By this time it's no surprise that Haiti was hit with a 7.0
magnitude earthquake last night, one of the worst earthquakes that the
country has experienced in decades. Many people have been asking how
they can help. Thankfully, AIM missionaries Miguel and Kristen Shaul
are on the field in the Dominican Republic right now and are headed to
Haiti as soon as possible to begin providing some much needed relief
and help to the country. Here is the latest from the Shauls:
Thank you to everyone
who has been praying and sharing concern for our neighbors in Haiti. As
we speak we are coordinating with other NGO's here in San Juan to mount an
emergency response to those affected by the earthquake that occurred yesterday
evening.
Four hours southwest of our home in San Juan lays the Dominican city of Jimani, which is
only about 40 miles east from the hardest hit area of Haiti.Our hope is to be able to travel to Jimani
early tomorrow morning, bringing supplies with us.
If the borders are not too difficult, Miguel
will attempt to get in as far as possible and access the nearest need closest to
the Dominican border. We imagine
smaller, poorer towns will have massive devastation as well due to inadequate structural
integrity even though they are further out from the epicenter.
The
primary goal is to bring first response relief to those in need, supplies such
as food, blankets, shelters, and basic health care will be needed. Our secondary goal is to identify communities
in which we can get involved in long term rebuilding. In both of these cases, we request prayer for
the LORD's leading of our effort and favor, and we also ask for partnership in funding our
response. Please consider joining in our work to respond to this great brokenness with the love of Christ.
I just found out about this today as I have been online, but wanted to make my blog community aware, too. The sale and exploitation of people is some of the worst evil that the Enemy and human beings are capaeble of, and it is an injustice that grieves our Father's heart immensely.
Below are excerpts from an email sent by a former co-worker who is now on the front lines of ministry to exploited children in Cambodia. So, as you go about your normal routine today, let us be aware of the reality that millions of women and children find themselves in at this very moment. Please take a few minutes to read these stories below and ask God what your response should be. Our prayers matter. Our hearts toward injustice matter.
"...a part of me wants to hurry and rush away from the
nightmares: falling in love with a ten-year-old little girl and finding
out that she's been sold for sex, for years, every night...seeing blood
on another little girl's dress and learning that the scars on her face
come from her pedophile....telling a five year old who's been sold for
sex, that it's ok if she stands up and does our craft activity since
it's obviously too painful for her to sit down and do it.... "
"Anna" also shares this story of a young girl named "Hope"*:
Hope's mom and dad ran a brothel for years, and had sold
her since she was little. Her mom and dad got into trouble with the
police, (the handful that are NOT corrupt), and fled back to Vietnam
where they came from. They left Hope to continue to be sold by her
grandmother; this is very common, for the kids to be living with and
being sold by Grandma.
Well, the elderly couple that lived across the street
from Hope and her grandmother began to care for Hope, as she obviously
was in trouble and didn't have anyone who loved her to care for her.
The elderly couple treated Hope like a daughter, and for the first
time, she began to know what true family is. Then, one day a pedophile
came to take Hope. This was 2 and a half months ago. The elderly couple
did not want Hope to be sold, again, and did something that no one had
done for her her entire life. They stood up for her. They told the
pedophile, NO, you can't take her. And then, just like the rape he came
to commit against Hope's young body, the pedophile tried to take the
lives of this elderly couple. He ran them down with his car.
Both the old man and woman were left with broken bodies,
and spent the past two and a half months in the hospital. The man has a
broken shoulder and hip bone or pelvis, and can't walk. The woman had
surgery on one leg and now limps around...Hope stayed with them the
entire time they were in the hospital...
They were run down in a car for trying to help one young girl.
Can you imagine the thoughts against those of us who are trying to help
ALL of the young girls? Upon meeting this old couple, my heart swelled
up with pride for them. They took a stand. Physically. They did
something about it. That day, even one day, Hope was not raped.
I go into 2010 knowing that you guys are with me; that you
stand up for me, that you stand beside me, and that through this entire
year, you have stayed with me. When I hear about the tears you shed
for the broken children here, I know I am not alone. And I know the
kids who are sold for sex aren't either. Let's not give up on
them....let's stand together-in front of moving cars, in the faces of
pedophiles, and against all evil...for no weapon formed against us will
prosper....
--------
*names have been changed to protect victims and those who are laboring with Christ to see breakthrough in this area. I have seen first hand the labor and sacrifice that those responding to this call are enduring for the hope to see God's glory manifested in these dark places. They need our support, encouragement and intercession.
Here are some good resources to check out for more information:
I am sitting by the window in the quiet of my friends' cute little house here in Redding, CA. From my perch, I can see the angora goats and chickens coming out for their morning feed. I smile as I look around at the little farm my friends have created, take a deep breath and slowly exhale, feeling months of tension begin to lift. I am thankful to be here.
the backyard of my home for the next month. Freddie, one of the critters on the farm.
I am spending the month of January here in Redding on a personal sabbatical. I came home from Thailand at the beginning of December in a grieving state of sorts. I left the U.S. four months ago with the sincere thought that I would go to Thailand, see God moving there, love it, find my niche, and THIS would be at least the start of the answer to my cry for direction and roots and calling. With each passing month I was there there, though, I was almost shocked at how much that was NOT the case. For a number of reasons, I left Thailand on Nov 30th with no intention of returning any time in the near future.
It is my natural instinct to figure things out, to have a back up plan, so even before I left Thailand, I began exploring some options of what to do upon my return to home. I started looking within AIM, concerned about my supporters and wanting to keep my integrity with them as I came home. Every door I pushed on was not the one that the Lord wanted to open, apparently, and I found myself even more confused and fighting helplessness. As I was trying to make things work on my own, somewhere in the back of my mind I knew that God was in the business of doing His thing in His timing, and all my meager efforts were like a toddler trying to help her mommy bake. Cute, and adored for the effort, but, ultimately this apple pie is going to be finished by Him.
So. Here I am. I have been here for about three days now, and my spirit has already been confirmed multiple times that, yes, this is where I am supposed to be for this sabbatical season. Wanting to be transparent with my support community, here are the things I hope to accomplish in the next month or so:
1.) First, before any of the other stuff can follow, I need to decompress and rest. This does not mean just lying around in my p.j's all day, but a rest for my mind and my spirit. Coming off Thailand straight into the holidays did not afford much time and space for that. The house I am staying in permeates peace and this process is well on it's way to happening already. God woke me up with Psalm 23:2 this morning that says "He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul". I find myself breathing easier here. It is a good feeling.
2.) A renewal in my relationship with God. So, that scenario of me being the cute toddler and God being my maternal baking partner? Well, the reality is I have been more like the tantrum throwing toddler that got frustrated when things didn't happen like I thought they should. In the midst of this frustration, I kinda put myself at a spiritual stalemate with Him. I knew there were some things we needed to hash out together, but I couldn't bring myself to go there. I know I need to go there.
3.) Seeking my next steps. While this is the last place I wanted to find myself in, I have confidence that I have a good Father who has good plans for this life of mine. I just want to position myself in a place to hear Him clearly. And walk in a place of confidence and obedience, no matter what that thing is. Even if it means leaving full time ministry for a while. My friends living out here are attending a ministry school at Bethel Church. It is a place full of hungry people seeking after the face of God and expecting Him to move in the fullness of everything He is. And some pretty amazing things happen. I can't think of a better atmosphere to immerse myself in as I press into these questions.
Please, I covet your prayers.. This is not a time I am taking lightly or as a vacation. I see it as a threshold into a new thing God is doing. Pray that I don't squander a bit of it, but make the most of every opportunity He gives me here. I appreciate it more than you know.
So, now I am off to hear Heidi Baker speak at church this morning. Starting my time off here with a bang, eh?! :)
Grateful, excited and expecting big things from my God,
Jessica
TO MY MONTHLY FINANCIAL SUPPORTERS: I do not take lightly the sacrifice and investment you have made into my life. Please know I want to be a good steward of what God has given me through you. Upon my return from Redding, I will be contacting each one of you personally to update you on what God has done and what your partnership could look like in the future. Again, thank you for being the Body to me.
Posted in Thailand by Jessica McClure on 11/30/2009
I am sitting in the Seoul airport (which, by the by, I think is my new favorite. Free wifi+comfly lounge area for transfers=two thumbs up from this weary international traveler), waiting for my connecting flight to ATL. My final days in Bangkok went from slight chaos to quiet mundane, most of it spent holed up in my new friend Liz's apartment, watching copious amounts of ER on DVD. Not really going out with a bang or trumpet of farewell, but somehow I perferred it that way. I have never been great at ending things. Slipping out seems to be my forte'.
I did have a sweet send off from my Well peeps, complete with encouraging words, prayer, and of course Mister Donut (the official good-bye treat of Thailand). The kiddos were especially sweet to me the entire day, coming up and giving lots of hugs and kisses. I will miss all their dear faces.
So, here I go: back to the land of red GA clay, free refills on my drinks, and not throwing my toliet paper in the trashcan (even though I am sure I will the first few days). Honestly, I don't think I have ever been this excited to come back from overseas. I am ready to help my mom decorate for Christmas and play with my niece and nephews. Excited to spend a few days before Christmas in FL with my sister, and head out for some personal respite with some dear friends and the little farm they have created in Northern Cali at the New Year. Anticipating some space, some time: to reflect, to ask questions that had a hard time forming these past months. I definitely need a debrief of the last few months, and look forward to a spacious place with the Lord to do so. Look for more blogs along those lines to come.
But, until then, I will sleep off my jet lag, hug people's necks I have not seen in months, and eat some Chick-fil A. Thank you for taking this journey with me-through finances, support, prayer, long distance skype convos, or any combo in between. I'll see you all on the other side of the international date line :)
Thursday
morning (after Val sent me off with a packed lunch-such a mom;) I hopped on I20
heading west to El Paso. What can I say about driving in Texas? flat.
brown. fantastically high speed limits. I learned that tumble weeds are
not just in western cartoons and they do indeed tumble across the dusty plain.
Not a whole ton to occupy your senses, but I found that I do indeed enjoy the
open road-good tunes, lots of time to sit in the Presence. Driving was a
very joyful time for me.
My
cross-country trek began last Friday and my first stop was Cairo, IL-where I
currently still am until Wed. morning. I have written about Cairo on this
blog numerous times. I called this place home for 2.5 years, and I found my covenant
family here as we struggled, contended and grew in a place together that most
of the time felt like it was straight out of Isaiah-barren, desolate, no sign
The
words of a Rick Pino song came to my mind: innocence is restored, when I'm with
my daddy. The song goes on to
prophetically declare the restoration of the innocent ones, for confusion to
end, and for fear to cease. I
began to ask for God to release the realization of himself as Daddy over that
housing project. For kids who have
never known the true love of an earthly father to encounter the heart of the
One who weeps over their sin, but waits in eager expectation for their
realization as heirs-sons and daughters of the living God, to be revealed
(Romans 8:15-16). That is it. Not by any human effort, or control,
or behavior modification, but by an encounter with the heart of the
Father. It's a joyful realization,
even as I look at my dear family that is still here in the thick of it: Not by
power or might, but by His Spirit.
This afternoon, I went to visit a friend in the hospital who just had her baby. It was a delight to hold a new life in my arms, all fresh and squirmy and teeming with destiny and possibilities. I had walked with this little one's mom and dad down a sometimes difficult journey that had brought them to this very place. The culmination of many months of tears, joy, decisions, consequences, and celebration lay sleeping in my arms. I felt a weighty joy as grace seemed to rest upon everything and everyone this precious one encountered. I especially saw this on her parents. It's no surprise what they chose for her name: Mikayla (a derivative of Michael-meaning "who is like God?" ) Grace.
Methodist church. I sometimes crave the rhythm and sanctity that traditional services offer and always find myself gravitating towards them during this season. I slid into the pew pretty buoyed and joyful from my time at the hospital and the service began. Now, I am sure most of you know that Ash Wednesday (and Lent as a whole) is all about repentance. Think Old Testament sack cloth and ashes (hence the ash on your forehead). This is why people go crazy over Mardi Gras and Fat Tuesday. 'Cause come Wed morning, it's time to sober up and reflect on our humanity, our frail flesh, and our sin. The visiting pastor mentioned in his meditation of how some churches take the upbeat songs and scriptures out of their services during this season to keep the atmosphere very Joel 2 like-fasting, weeping and mourning. And as I sat there singing, doing the responsive readings, and receiving the ashes on my forehead, I tried my darndest to center myself, to get reflective and, well repent. But you know what the only thing I wanted to do was?
While still in Thailand, but after I realized it was not in my future to return, I was left feeling a little confused and uncertain of my next steps. Actually, that's an understatement. Let's just say it was a hard time. I had left everything back home and at AIM to pursue this Thailand thing and I was almost shocked at how evident it was that this was not what I was supposed to be doing. I knew I needed some time to rest and regroup upon returning home I found a pretty cheap flight out to the west coast to visit some friends in Redding, CA. My friends living out there are attending a ministry school at Bethel Church. It is a place full of hungry people seeking after the face of God and expecting Him to move in the fullness of everything He is. And some pretty amazing things happen. I couldn't think of a better atmosphere to immerse myself in as I pressed into these questions. So, I went out. I rested. I reflected. I crashed some classes with my friends at ministry school. I hung out with animals on the little farm my friends have created. I gazed upon some beautiful snow capped mountains. I was challenged and had breakthrough in some needed areas of my life. All and all I couldn't have asked for more from my time. And I felt like I was getting direction on what to pursue next...
in Redding, I had many words spoken over me about this next season of life being one of rest, refocus, and identity. I have been in full time ministry for the past 7 years. I have loved it and have grown so much, but feel like a break from it all to focus on some things that the Lord is wanting to do in me is what He is asking of me right now. As I prayed through this in Redding I felt like the Lord was saying "I don't care what you do. Right now, I care more about who you surrounded yourself with. So as I prayed where my community was, Redding, Bethel and my dear friends who are there was what God was highlighted to me. I hope to be settled in and looking for work in Redding by March 1st. Please keep me in your prayers during this time of moving and transition.
Unless you have been living under a rock, you know about the earthquake that struck Haiti back in January, devastating the nation and sending the rest of the world into a response. AIM has been on the ground pretty much since the earthquake happened and has formulated a strategic response for the long term. I received a phone call the Friday after the quake, asking me to go to Haiti with an AIM first response team to assess need and minister. My heart immediately jumped at the chance to go, but I felt like the Lord was not asking that of me right now. Right now, and for the next few months, I will be helping AIM recruit part time some people to go down and lead some of our short term projects we have. If you are interested in serving in Haiti over the next few months, please contact me or check out 
People
are still being rescued - Daniel Woolley, of Compassion International,
is rescued from the Montana Hotel, where he spent 65 hours pinned under
rubble. Touching his face is Mondesir Luckson, a bellboy who was also
trapped in the ruins and with whom he was able to communicate. 
Thousands, however, are still trapped and may not survive. 
Thank you to everyone
who has been praying and sharing concern for our neighbors in Haiti. As
we speak we are coordinating with other NGO's here in San Juan to mount an
emergency response to those affected by the earthquake that occurred yesterday
evening. 
"...a part of me wants to hurry and rush away from the
nightmares: falling in love with a ten-year-old little girl and finding
out that she's been sold for sex, for years, every night...seeing blood
on another little girl's dress and learning that the scars on her face
come from her pedophile....telling a five year old who's been sold for
sex, that it's ok if she stands up and does our craft activity since
it's obviously too painful for her to sit down and do it.... "
